Drunkards need luv too

Darius: Uncle Darren... are you drunk?
Darren: *eyes red and teetering on his stool* what gave 'ou tha' idea?

--
At the bar:

Evra: It's just... I'm her partner, I'm her husband, you just don't go through my stuff, you know?
Darren: Amen. *takes another shot, then squints at the door*
Evra: ..You ok?
Darren: ...yeah. I think I just saw Jesus..

--

Tony: CHEERS! *raises the wine bottle* To a new year and a new love! *tips his head back and guzzles the red liquid down*

Donni: Tony.. that's sparkling grape juice.

Tony: *pulls it away lazily from his lips and looks at the label* Huh... so that's why I haven't gotten happy yet... I thought my tolerance just got higher

"Um... why are you guys dressed like that?"
"Because it's St. Patrick's Day. And what do the Irish do on St. Patrick's Day?"
"We dress up like loons, take shelter in bars, and loose all sense of dignity." "Cheers."