Nine Hells to Heaven

Lucifer: Damien?
Damien: o3o yes, your infernal magesty?
Lucifer: Say God.
Damien: Why?
Lucifer: Just say it.
Damien: Ok.
Lucifer: ...so say it
Damien: Say what?
Lucifer: GOD!
Damien: What about him?
Lucifer: Say his name!
Damien: Lord
Lucifer: No, you pathetic mongrel! Say the Lord’s name!
Damien: Jesus
Lucifer: THE LORD, NOT HIS SON!
Damien: Lucifer owo
Lucifer: ...say God.
Damien: God.
Lucifer: Now say ‘Oh my God’
Damien: Oh my Gord
Lucifer: ...You just said Oh my Gord
Damien: No, I didn’t
Lucifer: Yes, you did
Damien: No, I didn’t
Lucifer: YES, you DID
Damien: No, I didn’t
Lucifer: *gives an exasperated sigh* Say “Oh my God”
Damien: Oh my Gord
Lucifer: I SWEAR, ON THE 9 LAYERS OF THIS BURNING SOIL, IF YOU SAY OH MY GORD ONE MORE TIME, I WILL SEND YOU INTO THAT POOL OF LIQUID HELLFIRE! SAY OH MY GOD!
Damien: ...
Lucifer: Say it, demon.
Damien: Oh… my… GAAAAAAW… *proud smile*
Lucifer: .......FUCK IT.

Cain: >8D Alright! Going up again Satan himself! How many recruits we got!?
Damien: ...5
Cain: AWESOME! Now all we have to do is- I'm sorry, what what?
Damien: 5. We have 5 recruits.
Cain: ...ONLY 5!?
Damien: Lucifer's got alot to offer, man..
Cain: Yeah, but- ...but-...IT SMELLS LIKE CIGARETTES DOWN HERE!
Damien: That's because down here they have freedom to smoke
Cain: GAH!

Cain: *pulls his shades over his eyes* Just 'cause we're future angels doesn't mean we can't ride in style
Damien: We look like the four horsemen of the apocolypse.
Cain: Correction: Four Bikers
Damien: And where did you find this idea?
Cain: Ever read Good Omens?

Cain: My name is Cain, y'know? I'm named after him. The greatest sinner of all time! But secretly.... *shy smile* I liked Abel better
Damien: You don't... look like an Abel
Cain: I do when he's jacked up on methanol
Damien: Point taken